Years ago,
frustrated with life because it wasn’t happening the way I wanted it to, I
found answers in an unexpected stop into a Good Friday ceremony at my parish.
Although it had
been years since I’d attended Lenten services, I was tempted to go to church on
Good Friday. Each time the idea surfaced, however, I dismissed it. After all,
we planned to take the kids out for pizza and I wasn’t going to disrupt our
agenda.
But that night,
as we motored toward the pizzeria, I noticed the packed parking lot at our
church, which was along our route, and it summoned me.
It was late.
The kids were hungry. The service was well underway. But I insisted we stop.
We found space
on the grass and parked the car. I slung the baby onto my hip while Joe grabbed
Jenna and Lynn. Amid mild protests, we rushed across the darkened parking lot
and slipped into the back door of the church.
A few empty
seats remained, and we slid into them, blanketed by the reverence of the congregation.
The church lights were dimmed, and radiance surrounded the life-sized crucifix
on the altar, now draped in red cloth. I bowed my head in penitential prayer.
I remember
nothing more than gliding into the worship of the assembly, but the song we sang
moments later still resonates today: Abba, Father, I put my life in your hands.
Sitting in the
back of that church, repeating that refrain, I was able to release my fears,
doubts, anger, resentments and judgments. I realized, perhaps for the first
time, that it wasn’t my life, but His life within me, that mattered.
I’ll never
forget that day.
Maybe you were
in that congregation that day. You showed me that we’re not alone in the
journey. Perhaps you didn’t know what it meant to me, to be able to join you in
worship. Maybe we can give this gift to others. Perhaps, this year, we’ll
participate in a service that lifts another soul from the tarmac into the
heavenly realms. Only God knows.
Abba, Father, I
put my life in your hands.
I finally meant
it.
Abba, Father, I
put my life in your hands.
I’m trying to
live it.
If you cling to your life,
you will lose it; but if you give it up for me, you will save it. Matthew 10:39
Thanks for being here. This song, Control, by 10th Avenue North, says it all. Enjoy!
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