Whaaaat? HIDA scan revealed whaaat? Did you say that word surgery again????

I woke up early, heart pounding from the nightmare. Fear washed over me. What if I really did need surgery again? Two surgeries in a matter of weeks? Not what I wanted...definitely not.

As I lay in bed, fear washed over me.  So I do what I always do in that situation...I went to weekday Mass.

Oddly enough, that day the sermon was about miraculous healings and how, when healing doesn't come, we unite our sufferings to those of Christ.  A friend of mine leans over and whispers to me, "Seems like that sermon was meant for us."  (I love the way God reminds us that we are never alone.)

As always, I receive Communion. As always, a divine exchange takes place. I entered that church clinging to my fears. I left with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. 

Later that day, my surgeon called.

After exchanging greetings, he said, "I have your test results. You have gallbladder dyskinesia. Your gallbladder is not working properly. It needs to come out."

Surprisingly,  I felt no fear. His words didn't shake me. My response was truthful, but not emotional.

"What?" I said. "That is not what I wanted to hear. That is not what I thought you were going to say."

"I know," he said. "I know."

"I really don't want more surgery," I said.

"I know," he replied. "That's up to you. I'm just giving you the test results."

Joe and I met with him the next day. 

While it's not exactly what I wanted to hear, the news is good. Unlike the appendix issue, this can wait. It could wait forever. It's my call.

Today, it's a non-issue anyway.

After all, I'm starting new rounds of cancer treatments next week. We don't want to do surgery at the same time if we don't have to. And since the oncologist is adjusting the treatment plan this time, hoping to alleviate my debilitating side effects, we want to wait and see the results of those changes.

One thing at a time.

I'm content with that. 

So now, dear Lord, you've got me here. You answered my prayer. Thank you. No more surgery, at least for now.

There's one more prayer. Use me. Lead me. Guide me. Help me. You have me here for a reason. May I be your light in this world. 

As always, thanks for listening. Click here for Lifesong by Casting Crowns.


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